Who Forgot To Brush Her Teeth?

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Me.  {raises hand ever so slowly}

Before anyone goes crazy on me about this just keep in mind I’ve told you several times over and over that I am one forgetful person.  This is where I get to say, I told you so. hehe  Obviously my absentmindedness has NO boundaries.  So while I’d like to pretend that I am shocked and horrified that I forgot to brush today, I just can’t.  I have actually forgotten before.  Not often, but it has happened.  What I’m embarrassed about is what I did when I realized that I forgot.

I was rushing out the door to get Aryanna to school.  I put the keys in the ignition and for some reason my mouth felt gritty and yucky just like they do when you haven’t brushed yet.  It hit me.  “Dammit!”, I thought.  I actually sat there a few seconds contemplating what I should do.  I know most of you are screaming at your monitor saying, “YOU GO BRUSH, THAT’S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!!”  I however, didn’t want to get out of the car.  Hey, I was already comfy and all buckled, what do you want from me?  I looked down and saw the juice drink I brought for myself for the ride.  I took a swig, swished it around like mouthwash and prayed no one at her school would come close enough or even strike up a conversation with me.  Thankfully no one did talk to me except for the usual passing hello’s.

I’m sure you’re wondering why I would embarrass myself so publicly right?  What better way to remember important stuff than through humiliation at times.  Hey, I can laugh at myself.  Now you can laugh with me.  :)

So there you have it, my confession for the day.  At least when I got back I brushed.

How I Make My Husband Proud

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Aryanna’s afternoon VPK class is having a “cultural” celebration instead of a “Halloween” party, following along with the cultural lessons they’ve been learning this week. So every family was asked to make a dish that is from their culture to share with the class at the celebration. Aryanna decided we would make empanadas. For those of you who don’t know what those are, they are simply seasoned meat filled pieces of dough that you deep fry in oil to make crispy. YUM….one of our many unhealthy fried favorites! You can make them large or you can make them bite sized. You can stuff them with other things in addition to the meat. I usually use cheese. Others use olives and potatoes and pimentos. I keep it simple so that everyone in my family will enjoy it and not have to pick out something they don’t eat, like an olive chunk.

I ran to the store to pick up milk, oil to fry them in, dough, meat, cheese, seasoning and an aluminum pan. I did my shopping and somehow I did it without a list AND I EVEN remembered off the top of my head that we needed syrup because we are one waffle and pancake eating family. I came home and proudly put everything away.

About an hour later I was working on the computer. My husband came in, sat down at his computer and turned to me to say “I’m proud of you.”

Me: “Foooor?”

Him: “For remembering to buy syrup. You always forget stuff when you go to the store and you weren’t even going there for that. Yet, you remembered it.”

Me: “So this is the huge accomplishment you are so proud of me for? Of ALL the things in the world you could be proud of me for, you’re proud of me for remembering the syrup? Wow. Thaaaaaanks.” I laugh.

Him: “I’m serious. You ALWAYS forget something, even if you have a list!! So I’m just saying I’m proud of you for remembering something.”

Me: “Yes, I know I usually forget SOMEthing, but this time my list was short. I only went to pick up oil and the rest of ingredients for the empanadas.”

He smiled.

Me: “What?”

Him: “I didn’t see any oil in the closet when I saw the syrup.”

Me: “DAMNITT!!!!”

Different is Good

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When I was bringing Aryanna to school yesterday she reminded me that we were supposed to bring in a baby pumpkin to class because the kids were going to be painting them.  Of course she didn’t want to be left out.  She was slightly agitated at the fact that we had JUST went to the pumpkin patch on Saturday and we didn’t get an extra one for school while we were there getting the ones for the house, not because she didn’t remind me, but because I just plain old forgot. <—— This is a phrase you will hear me say A LOT!! 

As we were on our way I stopped at the grocery store to see if they had any small ones and they did for $9.99.  I thought…. what the hell!!!??  I paid $1.50 at the patch the other day for the same sized one.  I left and when I got back in the car I said to her “I’ll drop you off and I”ll go to the pumpkin patch down the street where we were the other day and grab you one.”  She said “I TOLD you I needed one while we were at the pumpkin patch.”  I saw her in the rear view mirror, raise her hands and shake her head in disappointment.  In fairness, she did tell me.  She told me at the pumpkin patch.  She told me about 10 times on our way to the pumpkin patch.  She told me about 10 times earlier in the week before we even went to the pumpkin patch.  Usually the school sends home notes though, so I was surprised I didn’t get a letter which in turn made part of me think she might be mistaken and the other part of me just forgot about it.  At the pumpkin patch she was so excited about picking the ones for the house that she forgot herself (which is rare).  So anyway, I get her to school and I see on the door a letter dated Oct 20th that we were to have our pumpkins in by Oct 27th to paint. 

Oooops.

I quietly and shamefully creep up to the teacher and whisper “It’s not too late is it, to get a pumpkin?”  She looked at me with one of those, ha ha you forgot and now are going to have to scramble to produce one for fear you will never live to hear the end of it if you don’t bring a pumpkin in for your child, kinda looks.  She whispered back “No, it’s not too late.  We are painting them today so if you go get one real quick and bring it back you’ll be ok.” 

Notice she said….”you’ll be ok”.   I knew exactly what she meant by that.

I quickly get back to the car and go to the same patch.  When I pulled up I could see some baby ones so I thought ok, I’m in the clear.  That was until I got up close enough to hold them.  They were allllll rotted pretty much, or they had no stems.  I’m not trying to discriminate against stemless pumpkins but let’s face it, it looks more complete with a stem.  Plus she was going to be painting so for practicality purposes I thought she should be able to turn it while she paints.  So I look and look.  I find one, go pay $2.00 for it.  While I was walking back to the car I was so happy until I held it by the bottom and 4 of my fingers went in it. 

Ewwww!

I went back to the guy I paid and explained the pumpkin is bad and I need a good one for my daughter to paint at school.  So he had me throw that one away and let me look around for another.  I looked and looked and looked and I couldn’t find anything.  Then out of nowhere, I saw one, BUT it was one of the ugly ones that have warts and bumps all over it.  My husband refers to it as very “Halloweenie”.  I don’t know why but it really took me about 5 minutes to decide if I was gonna take that or settle for a smooth pretty one without a stem.  I felt so much pressure because I didn’t want to disappoint her or have her have the “ugly” one of the class because I saw the others and they were perfect.  We all know even 4 and 5 year olds can be mean to each other.  I didn’t want her to get made fun of.  Then I snapped out of it and said ok we bought a big ugly pumpkin with warts and bumps on it for our house and she didn’t freak.  This was different though, so I was worried.  Granted there are bigger problems in the world but at that moment, this was my crisis…..(not ebarrassing the 5 year old who forgets NOTHING).

When I got back in the car my husband looked at me and chuckled.  “Not many to pick from huh?”  I shook my head. 

When I got back to the school and was walking towards her class I noticed my stomach was in knots, my palms were sweaty.  What was going to happen?  Was she going to burst into flames and morph into some heinous creature as she pitches a fit while everyone glares at me? 

I opened the door kind of slouching, and I know I had an “I’m sorry” kind of look on my face.  I could see one of the assistant teachers looking at how ugly this thing was.  Not Aryanna though.  She ran up to me as if she hadn’t seen me all day with the biggest smile on her face saying “Thank you mommy!”

Me:  “I’m sorry.  I looked and looked and this was the only one they had left in this size.  I’m sorry it doesn’t look like the others.”

Her:  “Actually, I love it.  It’s perfect.  It’s just different, remember?”  She used a very consoling voice.

She grabbed it from my hands and proudly put it on the table next to everyone else’s with a huge smile on her face.  She came back to me and said thank you again, then hugged me and went back to her circle time.

At first I thought, what just happened here?  Then I quickly said, run before she changes her mind!!  I stood up and walked to the door not so slouched.  When I got to the door I turned and looked at the assistant teacher that looked freaked out about the pumpkin and raised my eyebrows to her as if to say “Uh huh….that’s MY daughter!” 

I thought sticking my tongue out at her might send the wrong message.