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Oh the excitement of a lost tooth.  I had no idea how thrilling it would actually be for all of us, even those of us with all of our teeth in tact.

The kids went to bed.  It was after midnight when we realized that WE were the Tooth Fairy and needed to get the money under Jordyn’s pillow.  I tip toed into his room and stood next to him, trying to figure out my strategy because he seemed to be sprawled out on his pillow.  I tried to slip my hand underneath the pillow but every time I moved I felt like I was making a sliding noise amplified by a megaphone which, we know was not the case.  Still, I felt like I was going to wake him up even though he didn’t move a centimeter.

I lost concentration.  I ran out to ask my husband to do it instead.  What a mistake.  Why would I think he had any finesse to pull this off.  He took his turn and tip toed into Jordyn’s room and stood in the same spot I did.  I snuck in behind him and squeezed myself on the other side of him between his body and the wall.  All of a sudden I see him crouch over and cover his mouth.  He started to laugh but diligently tried to keep it quiet. Ohhh, how he tried.   Once he realized he couldn’t, he bolted from the room laughing hysterically.  Of course you know I had to laugh but I couldn’t hold it in and get out of the room fast he enough so I blurted out a laugh so loud that I startled Jordyn.  He flashes his eyes open wide and yells because all he saw was me hovering over him making noises.

So much for stealth.

My husband came back in and gave him a hug.  As he hugged and kissed him good night he reached under the pillow, dropped the five bucks and grabbed the tooth with one hand.

Redemption!!

Normally Jordyn wakes up around 8 am.  At 6:50 am I woke up to a little hand holding five singles in my face saying, “Look!!  The Tooth Fairy came.”  He was so excited but knew we were trying to sleep so he said it very gently with all the quiet enthusiasm he could control.

While I was bringing him to the bus stop I asked, “Wasn’t that cool of the Tooth Fairy to leave the five dollars for your tooth?”  I was expecting him to give a speech on what he is going to do with the five dollars.  Save it.  Spend it at the Dollar Store.  Something.

He said, “Yep.  You know what’s even more better?  I get a sticker from my teacher for losing my tooth once I tell her when I get there!”

I’m having a real Mommy moment here.  All the “firsts” are so exciting.

I was in the other room.  Jordyn was brushing his teeth when suddenly I hear him make a noise like he wanted to yell but he couldn’t.  Then, I hear him mumble, “My tooth just fell out while I was brushing my teeth!”  He had toothpaste in his mouth he was trying not to spill out until he looked in the mirror and saw the blood.  Then the excited look turned into a pale look of fright.  He looked like he literally either wanted to pass out or vomit or maybe even both.

I quickly go into the mommy is a rock and nothing will shock or scare her voice of reassurance.  I grab a towel and throw a huge smile on my face and say, “Yaaaaaaaaay!  Your tooth is out finally!!”  He still looked scared.  I could see him staring at the blood again.  I say, “It’s ok.  Everyone bleeds when their tooth comes out.  Here, rinse it out and watch it stop!”  I turn the faucet on.  He half way smiles and nods back because losing a tooth apparently paralyzes your jaw into an open position.  He manages to contort himself in such a way that he takes a sip of the running water while it’s flowing, swishes it about a few times and then spits it out.  He does it one more time.  The bleeding stopped.  Let the excitement begin!

I yell out the door to my husband telling him what happened.  You don’t understand.  We’ve been waiting for the last couple of weeks for this tooth to fall out.  His other tooth was already growing in behind it.  You can hardly even tell he lost his tooth. So yeah, we were a tad excited in my house.

Then I suddenly realize Jordyn was brushing his tooth when it happened.  I thought to myself,  “Wait a minute! Oh crap!! Did it fall down the drain??!!”  I went back into the bathroom, asked Jordyn where the tooth went.  He looks down on the counter and points.  It flew out and landed safely on the counter.

WHEW! Cause I know I would have been the mom taking the pipes apart for that tooth.  As far as I know the Tooth Fairy only drops money under pillows.

He wrapped it up in a paper towel and we all watched as he put it under his pillow with so much hope and excitement for the $1.00 he thinks he’s getting.  We’re giving him $5.00 for this first one.  I can hardly wait until he wakes up and sees it.

Do you think it’s possible the next potential land lord we meet would allow me to do a background check on them and verify with their bank if their mortgage is paid current?  It’s only fair.  Isn’t it?  This way I can spare my hand the wasted muscle movements on signing a lease they have no intention of honoring and I can spare my checking account of spending money on a deposit and paying rent for a place they have no intention of letting us stay in for two years as promised.

I’m a little bitter. 

If you have no idea what I’m rambling about stop and go read What Would You Do first.  Then come back and read this post otherwise, you might be a little lost.  Go…go now.  If you already know what I’m referring to then proceed.  <— I’m feeling a little bossy tonight.

I’m stressed people. 

I have lots of reasons to be stressed but, the main thorn in my side these days is our living situation.  Our landlords are getting foreclosed on.  We stopped paying rent in November and have been trying to renegotiate the lease with them all this time.  They let us move in here when they were already 4 months behind on their mortgage.  We signed a two year lease to give us two years to position our lives in such a way that we’d either buy a home or rent one in the community we really wanted to live in.  There was never any intention on their part to honor the 2 year lease obviously since they had already stopped paying.  Now they are being foreclosed on and we have to be out by March 1st unless something changes.  We can’t find anything in the subdivision we are living in.  There are houses in another subdivision but not in the price range we are looking which means I would have to move outside of my son’s school district.  With only 3 1/2 months left, are you kidding me? 

UGH <——  My new favorite word lately….well my favorite grunt anyway.

I know. I’ve been missing. I have issues. Lots of them. That’s a whole other post.

Anyway, today I saw something at the park that made me smile though and for the first time in several days I thought about sharing. There were a few dad’s there with their children. There were 2 that were sitting on the bench together chit chatting it up while their kids played together. Then I saw another one sitting on the bench reading a book while his daughter was running around on the playground. I could not help but smile. I think I smiled a little too big at the two sitting on the bench together because they kind of gazed back at me with a mix of confusion and friendliness. They both smiled back at me but, I could tell they were thinking “Do we know you?”.

I am a little off but, again, that’s a whole other post.

Anyhoo, I could not help but wonder about them. I had questions. The main question was where were the moms? Now someone please tell me why would that question pop into my head? There are plenty of career women that make enough money to support their families allowing the father to stay home with the children. There are plenty of men in this world who are wonderful fathers, my own husband included. I was surprised how I speak of equality in parenting but when actually confronted with living proof of it outside of what I see with my own husband, I question it.

So I did what any inquiring mind would do; I eaves dropped and stood as close as I could to the gentlemen hoping to hear what they were talking about. What do men talk about on play dates? (I almost feel weird saying that phrase.) Do they talk about shopping? Money? Funny kid stories? Parental frustrations? Yes, yes, yes and yes. And then some.

These guys were having the same conversations I have had with my own friends. One of them was saying how they have to go food shopping later and saw there was a sale at Publix. The other guy chimed in with enthusiasm about the buy one get one free on some of his favorite cereals. Then they started sharing funny kids stories and the silly things their kids say. After that the conversation became one that I myself have had several times. The guy said, “Oh my God. I was on the phone the other day and I couldn’t even have a conversation. He (meaning his little son who looked to be about 2) came over to me while I was talking and asked me who I was talking to because he wanted to know if it was his grandfather. I told him no but then he kept trying to talk to me and was saying daddy over and over a million times. Finally I just hung up the phone. Do you know as soon as I hung up the phone he had nothing to say to me. He left the kitchen and I didn’t see him or hear a peep from him for about 20 minutes. I could have had that conversation in 20 minutes if he would have left me alone long enough.”

Seriously, I swear I’ve had that conversation verbatim.

I was in reverse world. Once I was over the initial shock of it all I was able to appreciate what I was seeing. I’m thankful that my husband is a loving father and spends time with his children like these men. I’m sure if I was bringing home the money he’d happily be playing with the kids at the park.

I stopped listening in on the conversation when the topic changed to diapers.

Today I celebrated my 8 year wedding anniversary! I say that with all the enthusiasm I can possibly muster considering my husband forgot it was our anniversary today.

Oh yes he did.

He is normally a romantic. He’s the BEST gift giver ever. Usually we celebrate it romantically in some way and he plans things out. Not this year.

My reaction at first was that I was angry but, I’m so stressed with other things going on that I don’t have the emotional capacity at this time to linger in that anger towards him. He has never done anything like this before and usually tries to spoil me in some way. I suppose I can cut him some slack especially since he feels absolutely horrible and embarrassed.

So he took me and the kids to Red Lobster to try to make up for it a little. It worked. A little.

A little over a week ago a friend had asked me to join Facebook since she uses that more and was only staying on MySpace because I was there.  I gave in and joined.  I’ve reconnected with some old friends from high school and even middle school.  I want to say how lovely it is to be reconnecting but, instead I’d rather tell you how I really feel.  I can sum it up on one whole word. 

Depressed.

Talking to these old friends is the fun part.  I love that part of it.  I’ve reconnected with people that I was really good friends with and have wondered about on and off through the years.  I don’t know about you but, I loved high school.  I had a great time.  I have many great memories of people in connection with those years.  

So why the depression?  I know exactly why.  Reconnecting with all these people has made me look at my year book and read all the things people said about me back then and has reminded me of the expectations everyone, including myself, all had for me.  I am nowhere near where I thought I would be.  All this looking back has made me feel inadequate.

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