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Admit it.  You totally saw this post coming.  Right? 

I haven’t posted in several days for a few reasons.  1….that seems to just be my pattern of behavior this past month.  2….I really did just want to slack and focus on family time and take a breather for myself.  3….I really wanted to put thought into what I want for the new year to come because I NEVER make New Year’s Resolutions.     So, the following is a list of my goals for 2009 with an explanation behind some.  Others, you really don’t need an explanation of.  This list is in no particular order.  I just numbered them to separate them.  So without further ado here are my goals.

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I swear to God that if I didn’t have a blog I would have a load of gossip for you about my holiday. My best friends that know me, know I’m not fibbing. Since starting this blog my life has gotten increasingly quiet. Usually, I have stupid crazy stuff happen to me all the time. However, in the universe’s twisted humor, it wants to give me no material whatsoever to write about. Since starting this blog, there have only been a few times when something has happened that made me look to my hubby to say, “Oh, I’ve got to blog about that for sure.” Then he looks back at me and usually says, “Oh, no you don’t got to blog about that for sure!”

Damnitt! Why do I have to be so respectful of boundaries? Where’s the fun in that? Bad girls have all the fun.

As I wrote how the universe has given me no material I realized that it did. It usually does. I just tend to think I’m going to put someone to sleep if they had to be tortured by reading some of the normal stuff that happens or if they have to read my more “sentimental” posts.

Thing is, that’s me. I am sentimental. I am emotional. I ponder a lot of things in my life, in life in general and in the world around me. I want to be true to myself. I want to be authentic. Most, of all I want to be true to you all. So I decided that’s what I’m gonna continue to do.

What brought all this introspectriveness on? Something I call the “aftermath”. The aftermath to me is the day(s) following December 25th of each year. Some years it’s more bearable than others. This year, I will admit, I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I’m looking around at my house and it looks like my home threw up on itself, as one of my best friends would say. There are toys everywhere. Boxes everyhwere. Dishes everywhere. Everything is everywhere!! I don’t know where to start. Hell, I don’t even want to start. I keep my house pretty clean so this is overwhelming for me because I’ve been a stay at home mom for about 5 years now. This is what I do. I clean. I cook. I take care of my 3 kids, I mean 2 (my husband only counts when I’m mad at him). I’m guessing I just don’t let my house get this far gone usually, so to see it this way is driving me bananas. A little mess never hurt nobody right? Right.

Really, the mess was worth seeing the kids faces light up and hearing Aryanna let out these eye squinting, spine bending, shoulder raising, ear piercing screeches when opening up something she reallllllllllly wanted. Seriously. She is that loud.

I had a wonderful time Christmas Eve at my mom’s house with her side of the family. We had great food, great gifts and great family there. Here’s me watching the kids opening their gifts at her house Christmas Eve.

After we left there we booked it home an hour and a 1/2 to see Santa in our neighborhood before we went to bed.

Then the kids woke up to the presents under the tree. I managed to keep them from tearing everything open long enough to take this picture together.

I think part of all this also, is that I’ve been up the last 3 or 4 nights until 2 or 3 in the morning and then getting up 4 or 5 hours later between all the cooking, shopping, wrapping and cleaning. I feel like my brain is slowly shutting down. So for now the mess will remain.

Please feel free to comment me and commiserate. I need to know I’m not the only one feeling like sleeping for a month right now.

Also I am sharing some Link love with other mom bloggers that have shared their Christmas photos so click this link to check them out as well.

Want to laugh? It is December 22 and I have YET to buy A SINGLE CHRISTMAS gift. I hope none of you passed out. That really wouldn’t be conducive to you reading the rest of my post.

I generally do shopping a week before Christmas, but not this year. It’s not that I don’t care about Christmas or that I don’t like shopping. I really have not had motivation to be out in the traffic and shopping at the newly built mall that is jam packed everyday because we all used to have to drive half hour to forty minutes for a decent mall to shop in. Thank God for progress and developers.

ANYway, I can sum myself up in one word. Procrastinator.

My friends would have much nicer words to describe me. No really, I asked. I have vastly improved though. I used to be the one that you would tell to be somewhere at 4 and I’d be there at 5. At some point people started telling me to be at a place an hour before I was supposed to be there just so I would be on time. <—– That was BEFORE children. Post birth, I started to be the one on time. Right on time actually. To the minute. Somewhere I realized that I was showing a lack of respect for other people’s time. Like they had nothing better to do with that hour than to sit around and wait for me. This goes back to my procrastination. I would wait until I had to be somewhere and start getting ready about 5 minutes before I had to leave knowing I needed a lot more time than that.

Years ago when I was in school, I would have a report that I knew about weeks ahead of time. Yet, the night before it was due I would be up all night writing the report.

My kids send home notices of events or money that might be due for something and I will wait until the night before if not the exact day it is due to do something about it.

Yep. That’s me.

While I want to play it cool and act like I’m not worried, I’m having trouble breathing just thinking about the lines, the traffic, and hell, the other stressed out procrastinators.

One thing is for sure about me. I am an evolutionary woman. I change when needed. I am convinced that I am and will forever be a work in progress. One of my favorite quotes is “Life is not about finding yourself. It is about creating yourself.” I’m still working on my sculpture.

I am guessing this might be a foreshadowing of some sort of an upcoming discussion about New Year’s resolutions.

I’ve been writing Christmas cards for days. I’m sending them out for the first time in YEARS….yes years. Someone asked me what the big deal is about Christmas cards. For me, it says even though I haven’t seen or spoken to you in a while, maybe even years, I thought about you for a moment. Who wouldn’t want to know they were thought about for even just a moment? I would. So what’s in my Christmas cards? Love. Ok, don’t gag…I really love my friends and family. ;0)

Today I had one of those moments of tranquility and clarity that are sometimes rare for a mom to have in the hustle and bustle of our everyday lives (and no my children were not asleep when it happened).  It was very much noisy and they were right next to me. 

My husband and I took the kids out for a dinner favorite of theirs.  (teriyaki chicken and rice at the mall)  Don’t ask.   ANYway, while we were eating I couldn’t help but notice everyone with the shopping bags buzzing around, walking and talking with friends and family.  It felt like Christmas.  It’s sometimes hard to feel in the spirit of things when  you get no snow and the weather is in the 70’s and 80’s through  a lot of your winter.  We have a few cold days…which for us is in the 60’s.  Sad, I know.  Since I was feeling the spirit of Christmas I quietly said to Patrick, so the kids wouldn’t hear, “Hey, want to go see the light show at the new mall?  Maybe visit you know who?”  He nodded and said, “Sure.”

Off we went.  We got there right on time.  The show had started.  They had this huuuuuuuge tree all lit up and some smaller trees around it.  The music is playing and there are light’s shining on the buildings all around us.  All the lights are flashing in beat with the music.  Aryanna and I were bouncing around to the beat.  I had her on my shoulders  and Patrick was holding Jordyn.  We moved closer and just stood there.  It was really beautiful. 

There was something about being there in that moment with them that made me feel like there is no place I’d rather be right then.  For about 10 minutes I had no troubles in life, only peace and happiness.  I realized that I focused on all the woes in my life in the past so much so that I forgot about a lot of the joys in life. 

Just as quickly as I found my peace, it was taken away, not by the children, but when the show stopped.  The lights came on.  People scattered like roaches do when you flick the light on them, bumping and pushing their way through like the stores weren’t going to be there.  <SIGH> 

Have you had a moment of clarity lately about your life or maybe life in general?

Sorry I’ve been gone a few days. We’ve been busy getting the house ready for the holidays. Let the yelling at the cat and dog begin!! For two or three days I’ve been yelling at Romeo (our Boxer) to stay away from the tree and leave the ornaments alone. He waits until I walk away long enough to go right back to knocking something else down for him to bat around with his paw. For those that are not familiar with the Boxer breed of dogs…they use their paws a lot.

Anyway, today when I was cooking I had my back to the tree and I heard the same noise of Christmas balls jingling that I’ve been hearing for days right before I lay into the dog. I slammed my spoon down and turned around already starting to say Romeo, but it went more like “RO-MEE-O OH!”. Then it went to “Oh…my…God! Patrick!! Grab the camera!! Quick! Hurry up! But don’t run! But hurry up! Come on, quick!!!”. You know how us wives are, always pushing and pulling. So this is what I saw when I turned around.

It was Garfield (no I didn’t name him) climbing around the tree.  He’s my other naughty animal. However, this gave way for the best Christmas picture ever below.

Apparently he got so worn out from all the climbing he had to nap on the counter, above the dishwasher that just ran a heat cycle so the counter was nice and warm for him. 

If only life were that simple.